How To Feel Sexy This Valentine’s Day, According To Professional Love Coaches

Conjuring up the strength to feel alluring after living in worn-out sweats with nary a pedicure or red lipstick over the last 11 months may sound tough, but we’ve got ya!

Whether you’re home alone, with a loved one, or finally seeing someone safely after a long absence, two revered love and relationship experts share how to personally turn up your own heat on Valentine’s Day and every day thereafter.

Portia Brown is a NYC based sex educator, coach and Director / Content Creator of Froetic Sexology. Here’s what she suggests for elevating your appeal...

Don't Take Yourself Too Seriously.

Authenticity is HOT. “We've all been through so much this year,” says Portia. “Putting pressure on yourself to feel a way that is inauthentic to you is not going to magically make Valentine's Day a success. Focus on being in the moment without forcing yourself to perform sexiness.” 

Take Some Sexy Selfies.

Do you for YOU. “Remind yourself how hot you are by taking some steamy pictures of yourself, for your eyes only. You can get dressed up in something that makes you feel sensual or you can go fully nude,” says Portia. Do what feels comfortable. “These pictures are not meant to be shared with anyone else. Let them serve as a reminder that your beauty and sexiness is for yourself before it is for anyone else.” 

Focus On Your Senses.

According to Portia, what you touch, taste, smell, see, and hear all set the mood. So, she suggests taking some time to really set the scene, even if you are celebrating solo. 

First and foremost, low lights and candles make everyone look sexier and feel more relaxed. “What your eyes see is important, but a good candle can entice your sense of smell,” too. Then she suggests we, “take things up a notch and make a sexy playlist to bring your hearing into the mix.” As for taste, chocolate and strawberries might be a cliché, but a most delicious one!

“And for touch,” says Portia, “well I'm sure you can imagine a few ideas on your own for that.” But you should know that “laying in as many sensations as possible is a great way to help you feel more present.”

Vanessa Ringel is the Founder of GRAVITĀS, a neuro-coaching company that has empowered hundreds of women to manifest love and this Valentine’s Day she wants all of us to know, first and foremost, that love is always an inside job.

“We are all made of love,” says Vanessa, “whether we feel it or not. That part of us just gets buried sometimes, under layers of ego, fear and other less desirable emotions.” So how do we tap into that essential love? Here are a few ideas: 

Do Self-Care, But Make It Sexy. 

“The primary relationship you will always have is the one with yourself.,” says Vanessa. So, grab a glass of your favorite something, put on some Leonard Cohen and take a bubble bath. Give yourself a manicure, rub some aromatic oils into your skin. “There's nothing like pampering yourself to attract others who will want to pamper you too.”

I suggest splurging on an at home facial or simply adding in an extra layer of serum and massaging it into your skin a few minutes longer during your evening regimen. The Orpheus Resurrection formulations are game-changers and the signature ingredient, Orpheus Flower even comes with its own unrequited love myth. And, let’s not forget - soft, luminous skin does wonders for your ego.

Dress Up, Just For The Heck Of It.

What makes you feel attractive? “Do that and do it up!”  If COVID has given us anything, it’s the opportunity to dress for ourselves and not for other people. 

Ringel’s suggestion is to choose fabrics that feel lush against your skin. Whatever you’re into, Fashion Nova has it all, including cozy clothes that bring out your inner romance novel cover girl.  

Feed Yourself.

“Make it culinary, make it sacred.” Vanessa suggests cooking something special. “Spend the time and effort to make it art. Everything is more about HOW you do it than what exactly you do or making sure your food turns out perfectly. So even if you cook for yourself often, how can you make this dinner a spiritual or sacred experience? The more art you put into your life, the more beauty will come your way.”

Well, friends, I think we can all agree that whatever you do this Valentine's Day, make sure it starts with spoiling yourself because you deserve it.